sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize