i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
