thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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