i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
