AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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