when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
