I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?