You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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