I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
