dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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