Small penises have feelings too.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
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You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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