Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
