Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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