omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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