remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
