So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
porn star boner night. come get it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
