I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
