Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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