just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
