think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
