no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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