I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
