Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
