In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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