I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
