She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
