I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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