it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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