that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
