Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
