you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
