It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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