He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
