I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
