she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Boobs speak an international language.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
