is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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