You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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