Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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