Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
