i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize