Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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