Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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