i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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