Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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