These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.