ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups