I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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