i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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