direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
