I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
