Don't make out with my wife yet
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm getting married
To pizza
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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