I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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