a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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