I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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