Just took my morning after pill in the library
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
YAS. BRING CRAB.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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