I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
