Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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