I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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