Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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