you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well you can't waste a boner
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
