I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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